before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
