You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
