So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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