I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
