so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
