If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
