I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
as a side note pls kill me
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