its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i already hear my dad disowning me
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
