Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We are two peas in an std pod
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
