question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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