So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I need to sanitize my soul.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
