dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
