better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
