Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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