what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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