This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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