So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
