I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Randomize
