I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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