She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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