It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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