I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
