i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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