I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
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