i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
