moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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