I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
