im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
