shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
