We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
