i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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