Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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