Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
