Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
