just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
