the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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