Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
