It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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