he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
