Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
