um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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