just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
as a side note pls kill me
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
