There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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