4 words: hood of his car
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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