at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
