You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
