I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
