U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
