help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
