they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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