There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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