Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
