Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
love makes seman taste better
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
